But Felix, having a rather accurate knowledge of the Way, put them off, saying, “When Lysias the tribune comes down, I will decide your case.” 23 Then he gave orders to the centurion that he should be kept in custody but have some liberty, and that none of his friends should be prevented from attending to his needs.

24 After some days Felix came with his wife Drusilla, who was Jewish, and he sent for Paul and heard him speak about faith in Christ Jesus. 25 And as he reasoned about righteousness and self-control and the coming judgment, Felix was alarmed and said, “Go away for the present. When I get an opportunity I will summon you.” 26 At the same time he hoped that money would be given him by Paul. So he sent for him often and conversed with him. 27 When two years had elapsed, Felix was succeeded by Porcius Festus. And desiring to do the Jews a favour, Felix left Paul in prison. (ESV)

In the midst of Paul’s trials, he had a remarkable ‘witnessing opportunity’ with one of the great men of his day. As far as we know, Felix was never converted, but Paul faithfully, and courageously, shared the gospel with him. Reading between the lines, we can see that Felix is not in charge, Rome is not in charge, but God is – working out His purposes, and caring for His servant, meeting his needs.

We have noted before that history does not cause us to have a high opinion of Felix. The way the chapter ends I am left reflecting on the tragedy of many a situation where justice is still denied to the innocent at the whim of someone in power (see v.27 and 25:9). But like us all, Felix was a man of mixed motives. It seems to me he was a volatile mixture of a certain openness to the message; but also of fear, conviction of sin, greed and political self-interest. He reminds me of Herod with John the Baptist. Both men stand as a warning to us that without strict self-examination, and repeated repentance, our lowest motives are likely to win out. May God help us.

Lady Macbeth famously said that she ‘feared’ her husband’s nature. In her case because she saw it as being too full of ‘the milk of human kindness.’ He wasn’t sufficiently ruthless, or so she thought, to grab the kingship for himself. But we all have reason to fear those things in our fallen nature that could dishonour God, damage and destroy others, or bring us down. May we live in radical repentance, gouging out the offending eye, and cutting off the offending hand!

I was deeply touched to read this prayer from Sarah Yardley during the last week – written in the wake of yet another major church scandal:

‘Christ, have mercy.

Keep me holy. Keep me humble.

Expose my unrepentant sin. Convict me of thoughts, desires, behaviors that could shatter my soul and destroy my credibility.

Give me friends who speak to me boldly, clearly, calling me to a deeper holiness. Make me this kind of friend to others. Thank you for the companions who have walked with me all my life with honest, holy love. Let me hate patterns of sin and deeply love people in my life. Christ came for sinners, and I am one.

Break my heart for the layers and depths of the hell we choose when we betray hearts, bodies, lives. I grieve the heartache, despondency, disillusionment, pain. Christ, who entered that hell and took captivity captive, have mercy. Enter into the places that feel like hell today. Lead captives into freedom.

Let the name on my lips be Jesus; the only true hero, the one who is always faithful. Spirit of God, make me more like Jesus. Do not let me delight in sin or deride it casually. Give me holy grief and deep compassion.

Jesus,
Keep me holy,
Keep me humble,
Keep my heart close to you.’